Week #10 (7/20/08)

July 20, 2008

Bienvenidos 211^th ward;

I want to start off by thanking those guys that got back to me. I’ll be sharing the results in an upcoming How You Doin’ Weekly. I also want to thank the one girl that sent me an answer to the height question. I’m learning that the questionnaire might be the only way to get more answers.

I hope everyone has been enjoying their summer. Summer is a great time to spend some time in the sun. It is also a time when people like to take trips and spend some time with family. As a single individual, family reunions can be extra fun. It also becomes especially worse once you become one of the oldest grandkids that are single. I have personally experienced that this weekend.

It usually starts off by people asking you how things are going with work and school, and then they move on to find out how your dating life is going. If there is not much to report they then start to think of people to set you up with. In my family I am the youngest and the only one who is still single, so a family get-together sometimes turn into a let’s help to get Brad married session.

For any of you who are still single and slightly frustrated I have these yours of enragement for you. During Elder Oak’s CES fireside address back in 2005 he had his second wife speak. She started off by saying, “Thank you, Elder Oaks. I was married in my middle 50s, and I feel like I’m becoming the poster girl for old.” I want to focus on some of the things she continued to say;

It can be very painful to be single for such a long time, especially in a church of families. I know how it feels. On my 50th birthday my brother-in-law was reading the newspaper. He said, “Hey, it says here in the paper that at age 50 your chances for getting killed by terrorists are better than your chances for getting married.” I knew that dating was tough when he said that, but don’t give up. It isn’t a terrorist activity.

I would also say to you, be balanced. As a single woman, I had to go forward. I got a doctorate and became so involved in my profession that I forgot about being a good person. I would say to everyone in this room, always remember that your first calling is as a mother or as a father. Develop those domestic talents, talents of love and talents of service. As a single, I had to go searching for service projects, and now I have one every night across the table. I’m so thankful for that.

In closing, I think about the painful times in our lives. They will happen whether you are single or whether you are married. You may have a child that is very ill or the death of someone close to you or a period of life that is very lonely. You might lose a child or have a situation you have no control over, such as a lingering disease. I would ask you to consecrate that to Heavenly Father. In Helaman 3:35 we read that if we yield our hearts unto God, all our actions serve to sanctify us, and so any time becomes a blessed time.

CES Fireside May 1, 2005

Hopefully that will help any of you that might be feeling a little discouraged about still being single. I like how she challenged those who are single to be doing what they can to be a good person, and develop traits that a good mother or father would have.

I would like to leave everyone with a challenge as well and that is to do all that you can do. There are some things in life that you do not have total control over, dating and relationships are one of them. Missionary work is another thing in life that you do not have 100% control over, but I know that when I do all that I can opportunities arise.

An opportunity that everyone has in the ward is to attend one of the Ward Dating Activities. We would be holding them more often but surprisingly, we are not having enough girls in the ward sign up. Yes, that is right, guys are signing up but there are no girls that are signing up, so here is my challenge to you sister: grab one of your roommates and come to a ward dating activity.

Week #9 (7/13/08)

July 13, 2008

Good evening 211^th ward;

Some of you may have noticed that the How You Doin’ Weekly has been passed out at different times the past two weeks. We have been trying to find the optimal time for it to be passed out. Hopefully soon we should have that figured out.

For those of you who have not been to a WDA (Ward Dating Activity) they have been a lot of fun! This past week was no exception. I can say with confidence that everyone had a great time and that everyone walked away knowing each other a little better. After all, that is what a date is all about getting to know each other and having fun, in that order.

I wise man once told me that when you are dating someone, you should try and do different activities. The main reason he said was so that you could see how people acted and reacted in different circumstances. That way you get to see all different sides of the people you date. That is one of the goals of the WDAs (Ward Dating Activities) and I would say that the one last week helped to see some good different sides of people.

What we did last week for the WDA is we got dinner and took it to a park to play a game. Dinner consisted of stopping by four fast food restaurants (McDonalds, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, and Carl’s Jr.) and ordering something that was a dollar or less from each of them. In case you come on our next WDA, we will probably replace Wendy’s with Berger King, and believe it or not there are items at Carl’s Jr. that is a dollar or less.

After getting all of our food, we took it to a local park and there played improv apples to apples. Although many of you have played apples to apples, there is one major difference in playing improv apples to apples. You each take a turn where one person draws a green apple and everyone has to place a red apple in a pile in the middle that describes the green apple. This is where the game differs. After everyone had places a red apple in the middle, the pile is mixed up and everyone who put an apple in the middle is dealt a red apple face down. It is important that no one looks at the red apple they are dealt. Once everyone has a red apple face down, starting at the dealers left, they flip over their red apple and try and convince everyone why the red apple in front of them fits the green apple the best.

This is a very entertaining way of playing. On Tuesday we all heard why the moon was fresh and how emotional the electric chair can be. Although I still can’t remember why Ninjas are revolutionary, I was surprised that the Men in Black were not fantastic. Like Steve pointed out, “who wouldn’t want one of those things to make people forget things? Having one of those would be fantastic.” But, my personal favorite for the night had to be when Jenna told us how morticians were glamorous. “Morticians make everything look beautiful and colorful and there are all of the flowers. It’s like a wedding…… but their dead.”

Ah, good times and great fun. So if you want to understand the inside jokes from our next WDA, sign up today. Talk to me, send me an e-mail, or send me a note today and I will get you signed up for our next WDA.

Before I end today, I have a question to pose to the guys and the girls. I received about 10 responses from the guys on the question I posted last week. I’m giving the guys another chance to respond to the question: what things have girls done on dates that have impressed you and not impressed you? To the girls this question was asked: would you consider dating a guy that was shorter then you?

Feel free to use this paper, e-mail me, send a note after ward prayer, or make a post on the blog.

Week #8 (7-6-08)

July 6, 2008

Happy independence time of year 211^th ward;

I hope you all have had a wonderful 4^th of July weekend and for all of those who went out of town, welcome back. I wanted to start off this week by clearing up a few questions that I was asked concerning the Ward Dating Activity that will be held this month.

How often will we be holding them? I was planning on holding them every Tuesday night (that we have enough couples). Last week not enough people signed up, so we did not have one on the 1^st. So far we have a few openings for the 8^th so if you would like to come please let me know.

Are all of the couples are going to stay together the whole time, or are we going to split up? The activities are designed to have all the couples stay together the whole time. So, guys won’t have to worry about having to entertain the girl all by yourselves and girls don’t have to worry that they will be abandoned.

Is the date free? For the girls, yes the date is free. For the activity this month the guy will be spending about $3. Considering everyone will be getting dinner, that is not bad.

Hopefully that will clear up a few questions that some of you might still be having. If you are interested in going to a Ward Dating Activity let me know. If want to go but Tuesday night will not work for you let me know and I will get a group together to go another time. I have already had a few people come to me about doing it another night.

Since I have been set apart, I have been noticing more things out there on dating. Recently when I was logging on to check my e-mail I noticed an article entitled; Five Signs of a Great Date. For those of you who would like to view the article in its fullness, there will be a link on the blog. A girl was asked to tell five signs of a great dat and a guy was asked to do the same. They each cover 5 signs; I’m just going to post a few of each of them.

SHE SAYS:

He spent time planning the date. Did he think beyond just asking you out and make a reservation somewhere?

He maintains eye contact throughout the night. Your eye contact should coincide with a nice ebb and flow of conversation, not just him or you doing all the talking.

You both can't wait to talk to each other again -- and I stress actually talk, not send emails or text messages. A great first date always leaves something to the imagination...

HE SAYS:

Your date laughs the whole time you're together. This is especially good if she's laughing with you and not at the lettuce between your front teeth. If your date isn't laughing, then you're not entertaining her or she's not interested.

When you're out on the town with your date, she sees her girlfriends and insists they come over and meet you. This is a very good sign. It means you just passed the "good enough to be seen with in public" test.

Those are just some things to think about. Before I end today, I have a question to pose to the guys. After posting the Hot’s and Not’s of dating, a girl asked me: what things have girls done on dates that have impressed you and not impressed you? Feel free to use this paper, e-mail me, send a note after ward prayer, or make a post on the blog.